3 Things You Can Do If Your Family and Friends Aren't Supportive of Your Pet Loss Grief
If you’re grieving the loss of your beloved pet and feeling hurt, isolated, or completely misunderstood because your family or friends aren’t supportive, I’d like you to know and remember that your pet loss grief is real and valid, even if the people around you don’t understand it.
Losing a pet can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences of your life. When the people you hope will comfort you instead minimise your pain, the grief can feel even heavier and far lonelier to carry.
You might hear comments like:
“It was only an animal.”
“At least they lived a good life.”
“Just get another dog.”
“It’s time to move on and stop moping around.”
It’s been 6 months, aren’t you over it by now?”
When these words come from family or close friends, they can cut deeply. You may feel dismissed, ashamed for still grieving, or frustrated that such an important loss isn’t being acknowledged. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.
Why Family and Friends Often Don’t Understand Pet Loss Grief
Pet loss is a form of disenfranchised grief. A type of grief that isn’t always recognised or supported by society. Many people simply haven’t experienced the profound emotional bond that can exist between a pet and their person.
Family members and friends may struggle because:
They’ve never had a deep relationship with an animal
They were raised to believe pets are “less important” than people
They feel uncomfortable with grief and strong emotions
They believe they’re being helpful by encouraging you to “move on”
This doesn’t excuse the hurt their words cause, but it can help explain why they may feel so unable to support you through your pet loss journey.
When Your Pet Was Your Greatest Source of Comfort
For many grieving pet parents, their animal wasn’t just part of the family. They were their emotional anchor. They were the ones who offered unconditional love, companionship, and comfort through life’s toughest times.
If your pet was your safe place, losing them can feel utterly devastating and when family or friends don’t acknowledge that bond, it can feel like a second loss. One that makes the loneliness and pain feel even more excruciating.
Please know that the intensity of your grief reflects the depth of your love. It’s not a weakness or something you should feel ashamed of.
You Don’t Need Permission to Grieve
When those around you aren’t supportive, it’s easy to start questioning yourself.
You might find yourself thinking:
“Am I overreacting?”
“Should I be over this by now?”
“Why does this still hurt so much?”
“Am I crazy for crying all the time?
There’s no “right” amount of time to grieve your pet. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or years, your feelings are completely valid.
What You Can Do When Support Is Lacking
If your family and friends aren’t able to support you in the way you need, here are three gentle ways to care for yourself while honouring your grief.
1. Lower Your Expectations to Protect Your Heart
As painful as it is, some people may never fully understand your grief. Accepting this painful truth and releasing the expectation that they should understand can reduce repeated disappointment and emotional pain.
It may hurt in the short term, but over time you may feel freer by no longer expecting emotional support from those who can’t give it.
This doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop reopening the wound and making your pet loss journey even more painful.
2. Set Emotional Boundaries
You’re allowed to and deserve to protect yourself during this vulnerable time.
This might mean:
Choosing not to discuss your grief with certain people
Gently changing the subject if comments feel dismissive
Spending less time with those who minimise your loss
Avoiding places or situations where you may bump into people who trigger you
You don’t owe anyone access to your grief.
3. Find People Who Truly “Get It”
This can be life-changing. We hear it so often in our community that our group is a safe space where grieving pet parents can freely share their loss and be supported without judgement.
When family or friends don’t understand pet loss, connecting with others who do can bring immense relief. It can feel like finally finding people who speak the same language of love and loss and like you can finally breathe again.
In supportive spaces and in our community:
You don’t have to explain why you’re still hurting
You don’t have to justify your love
You don’t have to pretend that you’re ok
You don’t have to hide your tears
You don’t need to put on a brave face
You don’t have to apologise for crying
You can simply be however you feel you need to be at that time. There’s no judgement. Only compassion and kindness. You can simply be exactly as you are in that moment.
You’re Not Weak for Needing Support
Many grieving pet parents feel embarrassed for needing help, especially when those around them dismiss their pain, but reaching out for support doesn’t make you weak.
Quite the opposite. Seeking support is a sign of great strength and an act of courage and self-compassion.
Grief is tough, and carrying it alone is exhausting. It doesn’t have to be this way.
It’s OK to Honour Your Pet in Your Own Way
Even if your family or friends don’t acknowledge your loss, you’re still allowed to honour your pet in ways that feel meaningful to you and give you a sense of comfort.
That might include:
Talking to them
Creating rituals or memorials
Keeping their belongings close
Writing about them
Saying their name often
Your bond didn’t end when their life did. The love continues.
Be Gentle With Yourself
Grieving without support can leave you feeling isolated, angry, and depressed. Please be kind to yourself.
Some days you may cope better than others. On harder days, simply getting through the day is enough.
You’re navigating a huge heartbreak and a lack of understanding at the same time. It’s very painful and takes strength, even when you don’t feel strong.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If your family and friends aren’t able to support your pet loss grief, there are others who will.
In our Pet Loss Support Group, you’ll find a compassionate, understanding community where your grief is respected, and your love for your pet is honoured and never minimised.
Your feelings and story matter. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and supported as you heal your heart.
If you’re struggling after losing your beloved companion and feeling unsupported by those around you, join a support session and connect with others who truly ‘get it’.